being without water is being away from home for too long.
what i wouldn't give to be in Hayworth Creek among the reeds putting a t-shirt flag on
a sapling and sitting still, soundless, against the bank.

three truths





there are many hard ways to feel love
___________________________
there are many loves that feel hard
___________________________
there are many loves

these are just little diary entries that do talk quite a bit about trees-



it took me five months of digging up through the earth.
when i hit the layer of rotten bark and leaves that
make up the heavenly mildewed carpet of the forest
floor i cried in joy. i had been down there for years.
i had even begun to lie to myself that the woods no
longer existed. hello to sun upon my cheeks. hello to
trees aching and shifting in union with a divine energy
we don't have theories about yet. hello blue sky.
_______________



sometimes i feel very far away.
i push the heaviness of my body into a
fallen tree and feel myself within the
folds of my mother.



_________________



i am cautious with love. i am not
cautious to fall in love. i ran among
these beech trees on saturday and i feared for the worst.
i will never know when i am happy.


___________________


comfort is
being in
belonging.

____________________


glass tumblers sit
comfortable on top
of oak coasters. i wrote you
a story and it is here
in the dirt. this twig was
part of my hand for ten minutes.
do you remember when i was
part of you, once?

a:

i create a religion. in this new faith
the devotees rise at 4am and take
cold angry baths in steel tubs of
pure river water. they wet their
hair and shout underwater.

b:

i create a religion. in this bramble
bush women bare their breasts and
perform the sacred dance;

while without covering they lower their shoulders
and groan loudly. every sequence follows this path:
to the right
then the left
then backwards.

when the shaking dance has ended we go in peace.

c:

i create a religion in which we wake up together.
never is there a moment where human skin does
not meet another persons human skin. when the sun hits the
peak of the horizon and begins allowing its yolk to
spill forth between the cracks of the mountains we
eat. only bread we have baked ourselves. because
we must not end touching we have taken turns kneading
it with our knuckles. we eat together, feeding each other.


d:

i create a religion. men are not permitted to talk when the moon is out.
we are not permitted to know the power of rivers and lakes.
they are kept only for those who identify as women.
men are for carrying in the ash we use to annoint our
foreheads and to cleanse those who have lost love.

1- can you feel the
walls just begin to
drop? the sandstone of the
cavern drops off here and
sprinkles itself in a spiral
on the floor. angered water
settles. the sides of the cave
erode. the water blackens.
the cave sinks further into the pool
that has formed. clear your throat
and sift away the depth of this home.
Remember-
as Leonard said,
"this is how the light gets in."