underneath the wet earth.




i have kept myself in the bathroom
with a drink
the razors are rusty the
coughing of the orchids steams the mirror again
and i am sleeping silently along the wall.
my body the ochre of a burnt walnut
i am dreaming of a love letter that
i will never finish writing
and is undeliverable.
the skin we wear peels gently
like a fruit in the winter-
feeling caught up in oneself
we let down the organic guards
and catch onto the streams of
compliment that carry throughout our
humdrum day.
this gun of anxiety,
provided to me from my mother
and the ashes of my barn-childhood
wakes me from the slumber of
wishful thinking.
love,
is me telling you
as such.

we rested along the river,
sap-stuck stone as an ashtray.
laying nude on our sides
feeling the sun crawl into
arms. feeling the sun fall backwards
into my chest. hovering and panting
against my heart.

layout for other book
_____________

prologue: the letter
ch. 1: going to the home to commit the crime with the cane/stop the crime/admitting the addiction
ch. 2: the crime committed/meeting wally/going to meetings
ch. 3: becoming better at the meetings
midpoint: the second page of the letter
ch. 4: finding the grotto with wally/the zendo/becoming close to lauren
ch. 5: lauren introduces drinking again/wally falling out of favor/getting the cane in the will/
ch. 6: going to the home to commit the crime
the end